How to Make Homework Time A Breeze

As a mom, I’m new to this whole homework thing. Until last year my daughter was still in “preschool” but as a newly minted first grader, homework is now an obligation.

Luckily in the school she attends, homework homework isn’t really a thing but she does have a few weekly things she has to complete. She has a journal to complete once a week and sometimes the teachers send home little things to reinforce concepts but most of the homework is not something she has to do, nothing to turn in but rather reading 10 minutes in English and 10 minutes in Spanish every week night. The reading is completed on either a computer or cell phone and that means, it’s not something she can do by herself.

Hm.

I guess she technically could. I don’t let her, I guess, is the correct way to word that.

At first, I’ll admit it was torture. As a first grader she now gets home at 3 pm rather than the half days she was used to. I get home at 4. We eat at 6 pm and the girls are in their beds, teeth brushed, books read, pajamas on, at 7:30 max. That doesn’t give a lot of time for play, honestly.

So at first, homework was a serious chore. But now, it’s not.

How to make Homework Time a Breeze in 3 Simple Steps

1. It’s Not An Option

At first I let the homework time pass, making excuses for her rather than her even having to do it herself. She’s tired. Poor girl, all day at school. Later I realized, I went to a full day kindergarten and I was just fine and I was the youngest in the class rather than one of the oldest like my daughter. Plus she was a first grader.

So after about three weeks, I made a schedule. 5:30 it was homework time. Sorry, not sorry. If we have other plans that day that will take up that time, I give her options when she wants to complete it. Do you want to complete it before? Or move it to a different day like Saturday?

She doesn’t complain. And now, neither do I.

2. Make it Fun

I’m a firm believer in not everything has to be fun or exciting. Kids need frustration and boredom. However, I also think if we as parents act annoyed, so will the kids.

Many times after the first week or so and the excitement wore off, I didn’t want to pull out my phone or computer and listen to her read. (Wow, that sounds terrible doesn’t it?) And I would put my head back, looking at the ceiling, hoping for it to be over. I had other things to do.

But that made her sad. She knew I wasn’t having a good time so she wasn’t having a good time.

You don’t need to make it a game. Just act like you are enjoying it. Be proud. Be enthusiastic. It helps a ton

3. Be Firm and Understanding

I don’t make excuses for her anymore. She tired, shes stressed, she’s emotional.

Because they aren’t excuses. It’s real.

Sometimes I forget that.

Last year, before she even had homework, she was upset a lot. She had a very hard year. She had new classmates, only one girl from the year before and she’s very shy so it was hard for her to make friends when the other girls had known each other from the previous year. Her horse died, our cat died, my grandpa died. We moved from the only house she remembers (she was 6 months old when we moved in and 6 when we moved out) where she had neighbor friends to a different place, that granted, is much nicer but she didn’t have the friends she had before.

While this has nothing to do with homework, I remember thinking, what’s going on? The nurse of the school would call once a week with some pain or another. I got called into two meetings with the school psychologists about it. And I kept thinking, this isn’t my kid, I don’t know what’s going on with her.

Looking back, it was simple. But sometimes we adults forget that kids go through things too.

Since I’ve realized this, I’m a lot more compassionate it if she looks at me and says, “Please mom, not right now.”

Sometimes, we end up not doing it at all, but most of the time, it’s a simple as saying, “Alright, how long do you need?” And she usually responds with, five or ten minutes. I’m guessing this is because this is what I usually say when I’m busy and they want me to do something.

I set a timer (otherwise she can accuse me of tricking her) and then we do it when the timer goes off.

That’s what has worked for me? Any other suggestions?